Oceans 12 to the 8th power

I'll start this post off with a bold statement.

Don't bother going to see Oceans Twelve.

You've been warned.

Here's why.

It's not worth it. It's like someone watched Snatch, thought that it would be a good idea to make an American version of it and then left out everything that made Snatch or the 2001 Oceans Eleven remake enjoyable. If you loved the remake you'd probably be even more disappointed in Oceans Twelve than, say, someone like me who merely enjoyed the remake, if only because it's so very much NOT like that movie.

Oceans Twelve was such a wierd movie to watch that I really can't recommend it unless you just wait to borrow the DVD from someone 6 months from now. I walked out of the theatre after seeing it and I wasn't sure if I enjoyed the 2 1/2 hours I had just spent watching it or was disappointed in the whole mess.

It had a lot of really neat cinematic tricks and camera shots that the cinemaphile in me really got a kick out of watching, and there were a lot of genuinely funny parts that had me chuckling aloud. Unfortunately, what could have been a really neat heist flick just kept coming up with more and more characters, sub-plots and baubles to be stolen while really doing nothing with any of them.

There were a lot of neat story hooks that I really thought they would have followed to make a neat movie. Heck, even the menacing guy from the beginning of the movie that really is the impetus for the whole 'story' really does nothing except poke a few people in the back with his golf club at the beginning and then fondle the golf club a bit more in his scene at the end.

I wouldn't have even minded so much had the movie not been interminable. Every time I thought it would finally end, oh, here comes another scene. Sigh.

Ah well. There is a neat heist movie filled with plots, counter-plots and a lot of neat characters and camera tricks buried in this movie. It's just that nothing is really done with any of them in any meaningful way for the whole movie.

Now I wasn't planning on seeing it anyway, but The Incredibles was sold out. Good thing I saw it at the $5 theatre!