Do not eat old gum.
That is the moral of this story.
We went out to the Trunk Sale this morning and Garrett bought a couple of packs of Ghostbusters 2 trading cards that were still sealed with sticks of gum inside. I had a look at the date on the back saw that these cards (and the gum) were made in 1989.
Suffice it to say, I took the gum away from Garrett before he could scarf it down. Then I thought to myself, "As a connoisseur of old, stale candy, the opportunity to sample a 20 year old stick of gum comes but once!"
So I nibbled off a corner of one of the sticks and promptly spat it out. It tasted of pain and disease and sorrow. I couldn't get the taste out of my mouth for another 20 minutes or so and it took the combined efforts of a double-shot macciato and cinnamon bun from the local coffee shop to get rid of the foul, powder taste of death.
Don't eat 20 year old gum. I did this for you!