I almost didn't want to blog about this after the initial incident, but the litany of insanity begged that I did. And those of you without kids... be thankful :)
So...
Today was a pretty good day. Garrett & I went out in the morning to do a bit of tricycle shopping (note to Grandma, he likes the Red Rider one, though the crazy green one would be fine too). G-man had a nice snooze in the afternoon and then proceeded to play "Lifeguard at the Waterslide" on the top of the big slide at the park near our place. He sat in the middle at the top of the slide and would give people little pats on the leg or bum to encourage them to slide down on either side of him.
That was all well and good. It was the perfect spring day capped off with the perfect spring BBQ supper of hamburgers and cheezies.
Then it all spiralled out of control.
First off, Garrett got his hands on a little hard candy that I was going to eat. Before we could fish it out of his mouth, he swallowed it. Or should I say, tried to swallow it. Let me tell you, it's not at all fun to watch your little guy struggling to swallow something that's too big for his little throat. He wasn't technically choking (he was crying through the whole process, so his airways were clear) but he was definately not having a good time.
Thankfully, Julie & I are trained with CPR and First Aid and knew what to do, should a baby swallow something big. We were administering finger sweeps and back thumps and encouraging him along when suddenly - POW - the candy went flying out of his mouth, bounced off my shirt and skittered off somewhere under the couch. Unfortunately, it was followed by a wave of second-hand milk, yogurt and hamburger from supper. That didn't bounce off my shirt... or my jeans... or Garrett... It stuck (and stunk) quite nicely.
So that's the start of the evening. Garrett's choked on a candy, we've rescued him and now he and I are covered in a curdled stew of toddler puke.
Wait, it gets better.
Julie has us strip down and whisks our clothes away to the wash while I take Garrett upstairs for his bath. Garrett's still rather upset about the whole ordeal and didn't like the fact that I, Daddy, the guy who was whacking him on the back, was up there during bathtime and Mommy wasn't. He eventually settles down and starts having a grand old time in the bath, soaking me with his little bucket and squishing his little rubber duckies into the bottom of the tub.
Then we hear a scream from downstairs, where Julie is. And the water starts gurgling in the toilet.
Now, I want to let you in on a little secret. Our basement is evil. We have a rubber band tied to the pull cord for the light above the washing machine because I've received nasty shocks pulling on the metal chain. So when I hear Julie scream from the basement, I'm thinking that she must have received a fatal dose of electricty from that stupid lightbulb. And the toilet gurgle is the house laughing at us.
Our calls downstairs are met with nothing but silence, so I quickly gathered Garrett up in a towel and was on my way downstairs to administer more life-saving first aid when I bumped into Julie.
A very wet Julie.
A very wet, very annoyed looking Julie.
A very wet, very annoyed-at-ME looking Julie.
It turns out that while Julie had been trying to wash our disgusting clothes off, the tap on the laundry tub (that was supposedly leaky and that I supposedly had not fixed yet) wouldn't turn off. So she went at it with a pair of pliers, only to have the tap fall off and water spray all over the ceiling, the floor and her. Picture a fire hydrant shooting into the sky after having been run over by a truck. That's what we're dealing with here. Oh, and the gurgle was from her having to turn off the house water supply in order to stem the flood.
Of course, Garrett thought this was hilarious stuff. If he wasn't laughing before, he was sure giggling up a storm now.
It was a quick fix and all seems to be well now. Suffice it to say, we don't want to have anything to do with the basement, cottage cheese or hard candies.
Just another crazy night here at the house. Hopefully the next few weeks will be calm to make up for it.
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What I'm Reading: Head First HTML with CSS & XHTML (great book, really!), Devices & Desires, a huge stack of comics
What I'm Playing: Kingdom Hearts 2, Metroid Pinball & Metroid Prime: Hunters, Oblivion
What I'm Watching: 24, Prison Break, Battlestar Galactica, my house sink into the Hellmouth upon which it is built.
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