Friday, June 04, 2004

Vote Rhino!

I was just listening to The Current on CBC Radio and Preston 'Refoooooorm' Manning was saying he was going to revive the Rhino Party.

Too bad it's a joke. I used to love hanging out with the local Rhino candidate in Camlachie. Too bad I was too young to vote then. By the time I could vote, they'd disbanded. I wish I still had my Rhino Party t-shirt... sigh. I guess I could join the Absolutely Absurd Party of Canada but they look like they're just being goofy, as opposed to satirical.


Vote for me! Vote Rhino!


Why vote Rhino?

'Platform promises released by the Rhinoceros Party included:

repealing the law of gravity,

paving the province of Manitoba to create the world's largest parking lot,

instituting illiteracy as Canada's third official language,

tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the Pacific,

building sloping bicycle paths across the country so that Canadians could "coast from coast to coast",

annexing the United States, which would take its place as the third territory (after the Yukon and North-West Territories) in Canada's backyard, in order to raise the average national temperature,

breeding a mosquito that would only hatch in January so that "the little buggers will freeze to death",

turning Montreal's rue Ste-Catherine into the world's longest bowling alley,

selling the Canadian Senate at an antique auction in California,

painting Canada's coastal sea limits so that Canadian fish would know where they were at all times,

counting the Thousand Islands to make sure none are missing,

banning lousy Canadian winters. '

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